Guys – I’ve been having some pretty horrid dreams lately. Not like, monsters are chasing me kind, but more like ‘your whole life is fucked’ kind. (Excuse my vulgar language – but these dreams call for it).
The day before yesterday, I dreamed my mom had a heart attack and passed away. She has heart issues, so it really hit home. And she’s my best friend, so of course the whole day had this unseen heaviness to it even though she was perfectly okay.
For about a week this has been going on! (makes me miss my old locker post dreams! haha) Last night was no exception to the horrid-ness my mind puts me through when I try to get some shut eye.
I was at the mall with some friends and I run into another friend who had a baby, we all congregate and start chit-chatting – when all of a sudden this obviously-hired-for-show guy struts up in a suit and top hat and flowers and asks “Which one of you is Renee?”
Everyone points at me.
The guy pulls out a box, a RING box – and everyone gets excited.
I open it and it’s this fake, dud, joke – I don’t even know how to explain it. I look and see my boyfriend of ten years and his best friend laughing hysterically at me, like they just pulled off the world’s funniest joke.
Let’s see if i can make her believe I’d actually propose, and publicly at that.
I start bawling. But then – Derek Morgan comes and hugs me and shouts at everyone else…
“NO GUYS- STOP CHEERING. YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MOTHER****** DID.”
He proceeds to tell me, “It’ll be alright, baby girl. I love you.” While still holding me.
Exception to a nightmare.
I know why I’m having these dreams, it’s a no-brainer. I’m stressed to the MAX about my life. I’m 24,no direction in career, student loans up the butt-hole, legal problems, opening a store, with a guy for ten years that won’t put a ring on it, wanderlust-ing, my best friend moved across the country, and trying to find my passion in life. It’s mindshattering-ly overwhelming sometimes! But! Lesson learned and my advice for the day- No matter how hard things seem, or how lonely you may feel.. smile. There’s always going to be something that comes along to take a bit of that load off of you. It doesn’t last forever, nothing does.
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