I’ve done a lot of soul – searching lately. Trying to figure out what to do with my life, what I WANT to do vs what I NEED to do.
Trying to forgive myself for the mistakes of my past. Trying to figure out what I’ve done wrong and what I’ve done right and where to go from here. To exile mediocrity. To live passionately. To stop wrecking things when they are good.
People tell me, “You are not your mistakes.” “You have your whole life ahead of you.”
Some days I believe them! I prance around like I am re-born and believe that there is a vast universe out there to explore. No one really cares about my mistakes! I’m ONE person in the ENTIRE GALAXY! WE ARE SPINNING IN SPACE, PEOPLE!
But other days I don’t. How can you NOT be your mistakes? I mean, if you MURDER someone I don’t necessarily feel you should be able to just leave it be and make it NOT part of your identity. You killed someone’s husband or wife or son or daughter. Now, I’ve never done anything like that – but where is the line drawn? Are some people their mistakes and others not? What is the deal-breaker?
Now I’m not talking about in a sense of religion or higher-power. I have my beliefs and you have your own. I’m talking about waking up everyday and being HAPPY about who you are and what you’ve done – and how your past defines you.
Do you believe in the “Take responsibility and then just let it go?” “Move on.” “Life’s too short to dwell.” ??
I’m torn! I’m halfway between the “You’re young, life’s short. SHIT! You could get run over by a bus today and just be gone. Why wouldn’t you LIVE AND FORGIVE” and between the “ROT IN HELL” mentalities.
You are bright and smart and determined and you could be PRESIDENT SOME DAY! (exaggeration). No- you ruin everything! You are a cycle of highs and lows. You are incredible. You’re rotten. You get the point.
What’s your advice? Where is the line drawn? Are you your mistakes? Do they define you just as your successes do? Or are they just actions, a blip, ….?